I had to take an agenda item to the weekly team meeting in my third week of working at PIGG PLC.  I had to talk about the project that I am on.  I am creating a new database for the management information system.  I had given a presentation before and at that time I relied on my acting skills.  I did realize that there were considerable differences between then and now, particularly in the situation (it was only fellow students and my tutor before).

I was confident but I did spend quite a bit of time preparing.  Because everyone else here uses PowerPoint, I felt I had better use it – though I realized that it was not for the best reasons.  I also prepared lots of figures so that I could answer questions.  I thought, at that stage, that any questions would involve requests for data.  When I think back on the preparation that I did, I realize that I was desperately trying to prove that I could make a presentation as well as my colleague, who did the last one.  I wanted to impress everyone.  I had not realized there was so much to learn about presenting, and how much I needed to know about PowerPoint to use it properly.

When I set up the presentation in the meeting I tried to be calm but it did not work out.  Early on the PowerPoint went wrong and I began to panic.  Trying to pretend that I was cool and confident made the situation worse because I did not admit my difficulties and ask for help.  The more I spoke, the more my voice went wobbly.  I realized, from the kinds of questions that the others asked, that they did not understand what I was saying.  They were asking for clarification – not the figures.  I felt worse when Mrs. Shaw, my boss, started to answer questions for me.  I felt flustered and even less able to cope.

As a result of this poor presentation, my self-esteem is low at work now.  I had thought I was doing all right in the company.  After a few days, I went to see Mrs. Shaw and we talked it over.  I still feel that her interventions did not help me.  Interestingly several of my colleagues commented that she always does that.  It was probably her behavior, more than anything else, that damaged my poise.  Partly through talking over the presentation and the things that went wrong (but not, of course, her interventions), I can see several areas that I could get better at.  I need to know more about using PowerPoint – and to practice with it.

I recognize, also, that my old acting skills might have given me initial confidence, but I needed more than a clear voice, especially when I lost my way with PowerPoint.  Relying on a mass of figures was not right either.  It was not the figures they wanted.  In retrospect, I could have put the figures on a handout.  I am hoping to have a chance to try with a presentation, practicing with some of the team.a